FYI……..It’s REALLY hard!

It’s like trying to herd cats while juggling chainsaws – except the cats are made of jelly and the chainsaws are on fire. Publishing a book is challenging enough, but throw in a little dyslexia, dyscalculia, ADHD, or good old-fashioned clumsiness, and it becomes a veritable circus of epic proportions.

Just imagine the scene – you’re staring at a blank document, fingers poised over the keyboard, ready to craft the next literary masterpiece. But then your eyes start playing tricks on you, and the words start dancing across the screen like a troop of ballerina hippos. Or maybe you get distracted by the shiny new notification on your phone, and the next thing you know, you’ve spent an hour scrolling through cat videos instead of writing.

And don’t even get me started on the formatting and layout challenges. It’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube while blindfolded and wearing oven mitts. You end up with a book that looks like it was designed by a toddler on a sugar high.

But hey, at least you can take solace in the fact that you’re not alone. There are countless other authors out there, struggling with their own unique learning quirks, all trying to navigate the treacherous waters of the publishing world.

The faff!

The ‘guidelines’ for the book publishing platform I use are ridiculous. It’s like me trying to read Russian! Not only does the text dance around the page, but they make the guidelines so excessively complex and inundated with technical terminology, it creates barriers for the majority of individuals like me attempting to navigate them.

I’ve been struggling to understand the information they’ve provided. They kept returning my books for review, usually because I misunderstood something that they should have made clear in the first place. It’s really frustrating! Every time I get a notification that the book has been returned again, my heart sinks. I thought I had done everything right, but apparently not. It’s usually for minor things like a slightly off margin on the cover or a need to change aspects of the title. When they notify you, they list about 10 things that *could* be the issue, and it’s up to you to figure out what went wrong. I can see why they do it – they don’t want to reveal too much information in case people manipulate the system, so I understand their reasoning. However, when there are 10 possible reasons the book was returned, it’s overwhelming to figure out what I need to change and by how much. The guidelines they provide are so complicated that they can be very difficult to understand.

I’ve had dyslexia and dyscalculia since I was young, but I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 38 and attending University for my Masters. I struggled a lot in school, and it was tough not knowing why I found certain subjects so difficult; no one believed me. My dyslexia makes words on the page jumble up, and I have difficulty understanding what I read. Even following simple instructions can be a challenge. So, when you’re presented with a daunting task, such as publishing your own book, it can be scary. I’m scared of what to write on blogs or social media, compiling the books, and dealing with rejection from the publishing platform. I am constantly in a state of fear rather than enjoying the process and feeling proud of what I have accomplished so far. That is something I have to work on.

Asking for help…..and to not feel ashamed

When I thought I was struggling on my own, I found help from a source I didn’t think of initially; a social media group. Although I had joined the group months ago, I hadn’t been very active. However, when I started receiving returned books, I turned to the group for help. That wasn’t an easy thing to do; I have always struggled with asking for help because I fear rejection and it makes me feel ashamed. I was ashamed of myself for being ‘thick’ and I saw it as a direct reflection of myself as a failure. However, I bit the bullet, wrote a post, and within 10 minutes of sharing my issues on the group page, I received assistance. One really wonderful woman, who mentioned that she was also neurodivergent, reached out to me and understood exactly what I was going through. She had faced similar challenges but had been at it for a year and had somewhat mastered the process. Additionally, one of the administrators sent me a private message with lots of valuable feedback and suggestions for improvement. After these conversations, the two problematic books that had been repeatedly rejected successfully passed the review process and are now live! What a relief! I couldn’t have done it without them, so if they are reading this, THANK YOU! I owe you a beer, a cake or a hug!

Learning to ask for assistance, and to be kinder to myself

This recent experience has made me realize that I need to be kinder to myself. I always criticize myself with negative thoughts like ‘you’re an idiot’, ‘why can’t you understand this?’, or ‘you’re useless’. However, in the past week, I have received kindness from strangers who genuinely want to help me succeed. This has made me realize that I need to treat myself with the same kindness. I need to stop being so hard on myself when I make mistakes. It’s okay to fail, and I need to learn to be more compassionate toward myself. Despite feeling like giving up at times, I LOVE what I’m doing and I feel a sense of accomplishment for overcoming my challenges. I’ve also learned important technical lessons that will help me create more books. I’ve come to understand that I’m not alone and that the complexity of the guidelines is not my fault but rather that of the publishing platform. They should provide documentation that is easier to understand. Just because I have learning difficulties and disabilities, it doesn’t mean I don’t have something valuable to offer the world. I will take this final thought, write it on a sticky note, and place it on my mirror (or my forehead) as a daily reminder. I CAN do this, I just have to keep going.

If you have any similar experiences, please let me know!